I'm in an incredible state of rebellion against the idea that mothers can't have adventures. I know that it's very common for people to say things along the lines of, "Oh, yeah, moms can still have fun!" That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, you have a kid, and all of the sudden people expect you to immediately end all crazy behavior in your life. Ridiculous!
DISCLAIMER: Some people just aren't naturally crazy or adventurous. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, we NEED those people, because doing crazy shit just isn't as fun unless you have to convince some reluctant individual to join you in your endeavor, or at least watch in part awe, part annoyance. And, there are definitely some things you shouldn't do as a mother. You can't do things that have a high probability of causing death, imprisonment, or total disability, because who the hell is going to take care of your kids in one of those situations? (If something happens to you, someone will take care of your kids, I'm just saying, you shouldn't be inviting those kinds of disasters as a parent.)
Now that we have that out of the way, I would like to address the actual point(s) of the blog, which is basically to make an extended statement to all of the seven billion people of the world. I will be lucky if two people actually read it. I'll faint if they get to the end.
I'm not going to stop partying with my friends until the sun comes up! I'm a mom, so I'm not going to practice that sort of thing on a nightly basis, but it's still going to happen! (But not until I get off probation.) (I don't know if you're reading this Christine, but I'm serious! PISS TEST ME!) it's going to take some more planning than it would have before I had my kid, yes. I'm going to have to make sure that he has someone to care for him all throughout that night. I'm going to have to moderate my alcohol consumption so that if a life threatening event happened to my son I could CALL A TAXI (you love this, Christine?) and be there in at least a reasonable state of mind to deal with what happened. I'm going to make sure someone will be there to care for him in the morning, so that I can get a few hours of sleep. But regardless, I will party until the break of dawn with my buds, at least every now and then.
I feel that this ability is going to be a great asset in my later parenting life. Slumber parties will go on and on throughout the night, and I'll be up. Listening. Watching. Waiting. And as soon as those little boogers try to sneak out the back door, I'm going to be there with a flashlight, like, "What's up, bro? Been there. Done that. Knew you were faking sleep an hour ago when I came to check on you. You're grounded." Boom goes the dynamite.
I'm not going to stop taking random road trips! If I want to up and head to Kansas City for really absolutely no reason for just one night, guess what suckers? I'm going to do it! (But not without checking with Christine at least two weeks in advance, at least for the next few months.) I'm going to drive with no destination, stay at whatever cheap hotel I find wherever I end up, make friends with some random people, and do whatever is awesome to do in that town. Because that's awesome.
Guess what? Give it a couple years. My kid's going to be coming with. Seeing the world, one random, overnight road trip at a time. Talk about well-rounded, well traveled. He's going to be in fifth grade and be like, "Yeah? You went on a Disney cruise? I've been to 78 small towns in the greater Midwest area. We slept in cornfields."
Speaking of fields, do you ever just drive past a field and think, man that would be a great field to do some cartwheels in? Me too. Except, if I've got the time, I'm going to get out and do them.
I love dancing in the rain! Give me a fantastic downpour, and you will see me outside, spinning around, people stare at me and I don't care. It's great. Most refreshing feeling you'll ever have.
I've already shared that with my son. He's two years old, it starts raining, my roommate isn't home. I'm like, "Ok, no one to watch the kid. Do I sacrifice this beautiful gift from the sky?" I think you already know the answer, but I'll say it anyways. NO! I grab him from his bed, take him outside, and introduced him to the glory that is rain. Slowly, because he's only two and he gets scared easily and I didn't want the poor kid to hate the rain forever because of some psychological scar I gave him throwing him in too soon. First, we stood under the overhang, and we just stuck our hands out into the rain. Step by step, while holding him, I walked farther and father into the rain, and once we got comfortable, we spun, and laughed, and hugged, and kissed. (We love hugs and kisses, he's young, I'm enjoying it while I have it.)
You know what really just gets my goat? Nobody thinks fathers should stop living an adventurous, crazy life. The things I mentioned, or the male equivalent since cartwheels and dancing in the rain might be weird for a guy, would MAYBE be worth a little shake of the head, or a tsk tsk. No one would sit there and question the ability of that father to be a good parent. SEXISM.
So basically, mothers can still be adventurous. If you have more adventure stories, I totally want to hear them.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Why I Have a Problem Writing Papers
So I haven't written in a while but it's not like anyone reads it anyways.
The reason I hate writing papers, particularly papers in classes, is because I believe writing is an art form. If I'm putting a lot of time and effort into an essay, I want it to be personal, I want it to cause an emotional response in my reader. I don't want to simply write plain, boring words about a plain, boring subject. The cookie cutter form of today's acceptable essay leaves little room for expansion. (You all know what I'm talking about, attention grabber, filler, thesis, body body body-following the layout of the thesis, summary, call to action, restatement of thesis.)
That's all.
The reason I hate writing papers, particularly papers in classes, is because I believe writing is an art form. If I'm putting a lot of time and effort into an essay, I want it to be personal, I want it to cause an emotional response in my reader. I don't want to simply write plain, boring words about a plain, boring subject. The cookie cutter form of today's acceptable essay leaves little room for expansion. (You all know what I'm talking about, attention grabber, filler, thesis, body body body-following the layout of the thesis, summary, call to action, restatement of thesis.)
That's all.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
21. Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people.
Decided to do this in the order that I felt like. Maybe I'll get more done that way.
Every single person I meet has good qualities and bad qualities, and to be frank, the bad qualities generally far outweigh the good. I'm a super judgemental person. It's one of my very worst qualities. I will fixate on the bad in you, blow it way out of proportion, and drown you in your badness, which is probably something you're already insecure about. I'm working on it.
This is not an original idea, but an idea I believe bears repeating. People don't get better because you tell them what's wrong with them. People get better when you tell them what's right with them. When my mom tells me I'm an awesome momma, I honestly disagree. There are so many things I know I could do better. But she makes me want to be a better momma. She does this both by inspiring me with her example, and by encouraging me. I want my mom to be able to praise my mothering skills honestly. My brother's and I were raised under her constant encouragement, continually told we were smart, we were competent, we were going to do great things with our lives. And despite a few obstacles on the way, one thing I can say about each of my siblings is that we are overcomers, and we are achievers. We are not satisfied with reaching the status quo. Each of us has an inner desire to be the best we can be, because one of the fundamental values that was ingrained in us from an early age was that we had the ability to be great.
This works in the opposite way, too. Ask a room full of inmates how many of them were told by their authority figures, the people they were supposed to look up to, that they were going to end up in jail one day. I bet you 90 percent of them will raise their hands.
I'd like to end by sharing an important principle that I learned in a program I was in. "You believe whatever you tell yourself." In my opinion, this is the best way to gain self esteem. Take the good in you, something that you don't see, but everyone else does, and tell yourself over and over again, this is true. Say it out loud. Recognize your achievements. Reward yourself. Praise yourself. Self-confidence is the single character trait in today's world that will truly be useful no matter what path you take in life. It is the first step to happiness.
Positive Vibes.
Every single person I meet has good qualities and bad qualities, and to be frank, the bad qualities generally far outweigh the good. I'm a super judgemental person. It's one of my very worst qualities. I will fixate on the bad in you, blow it way out of proportion, and drown you in your badness, which is probably something you're already insecure about. I'm working on it.
This is not an original idea, but an idea I believe bears repeating. People don't get better because you tell them what's wrong with them. People get better when you tell them what's right with them. When my mom tells me I'm an awesome momma, I honestly disagree. There are so many things I know I could do better. But she makes me want to be a better momma. She does this both by inspiring me with her example, and by encouraging me. I want my mom to be able to praise my mothering skills honestly. My brother's and I were raised under her constant encouragement, continually told we were smart, we were competent, we were going to do great things with our lives. And despite a few obstacles on the way, one thing I can say about each of my siblings is that we are overcomers, and we are achievers. We are not satisfied with reaching the status quo. Each of us has an inner desire to be the best we can be, because one of the fundamental values that was ingrained in us from an early age was that we had the ability to be great.
This works in the opposite way, too. Ask a room full of inmates how many of them were told by their authority figures, the people they were supposed to look up to, that they were going to end up in jail one day. I bet you 90 percent of them will raise their hands.
I'd like to end by sharing an important principle that I learned in a program I was in. "You believe whatever you tell yourself." In my opinion, this is the best way to gain self esteem. Take the good in you, something that you don't see, but everyone else does, and tell yourself over and over again, this is true. Say it out loud. Recognize your achievements. Reward yourself. Praise yourself. Self-confidence is the single character trait in today's world that will truly be useful no matter what path you take in life. It is the first step to happiness.
Positive Vibes.
Monday, May 16, 2011
hell
<div style="width: 400; text-align: center; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><p style="margin-right: 0; margin-left: 0; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #7F0000;"><b>Steve Jobs</b><br>Circle I Limbo</p><p style="margin-right: 10; margin-left: 10; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #8F0000;"><b>General asshats</b><br>Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind</p><p style="margin-right: 20; margin-left: 20; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #9F0000;"><b>Militant Vegans</b><br>Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow</p><p style="margin-right: 30; margin-left: 30; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #AF0000;"><b>Democrats</b><br>Circle IV Rolling Weights</p><p style="margin-right: 40; margin-left: 40; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #BF0000;"><b>PETA Members</b><br>Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled</p><p style="border-style: solid none; border-color: black; background: white; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;">River Styx</p><p style="margin-right: 50; margin-left: 50; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #CF0000;"><b>Nancy Pelosi</b><br>Circle VI Buried for Eternity</p><p style="border-style: solid none; border-color: black; background: white; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;">River Phlegyas</p><p style="margin-right: 60; margin-left: 60; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #DF0000;"><b>Osama bin Laden</b><br>Circle VII Burning Sands</p><p style="margin-right: 70; margin-left: 70; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #EF0000;"><b>Barack Obama</b><br>Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement</p><p style="margin-right: 80; margin-left: 80; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #FF0000;"><b>Scientologists, Oakland Raider Fans</b><br>Circle IX Frozen in Ice</p><p><a href="http://www.gaydeceiver.com/misc/hell/" style="color: red;">Design your own hell</a></p></div>
Friday, April 29, 2011
Day Four: What music album would be used as the soundtrack for the movie of your life?
This is difficult. I mean, how could one album, with only one artist, describe my whole life? There are many different parts! But I think what would fit best is Ke$ha's first album, whatever that was called.
A great deal of my life was spent partying, something she talks about in her songs a lot. I can think of more than a couple songs that would be playing during my partying days.
Also, I spent a lot of time in my life dancing. I don't care what anyone says, her songs are good to dance to.
She also talks about love, but not a lot. I have had some dealings with the L word here and there, but not too much. Haven't really focused on it.
Overall, a majority of her music, at least what I've heard, is upbeat, and just like, to hell with it. I don't really let myself stay sad too long. I wouldn't say I'm overly happy all the time, but I just force myself to get over things and move on quickly. So an album with a bunch of sad songs on it, that wouldn't be for me.
There you go. Eventually I'll start feeling creative and actually writing interesting things in interesting ways in response to these questions, but right now I'm just not feeling it.
A great deal of my life was spent partying, something she talks about in her songs a lot. I can think of more than a couple songs that would be playing during my partying days.
Also, I spent a lot of time in my life dancing. I don't care what anyone says, her songs are good to dance to.
She also talks about love, but not a lot. I have had some dealings with the L word here and there, but not too much. Haven't really focused on it.
Overall, a majority of her music, at least what I've heard, is upbeat, and just like, to hell with it. I don't really let myself stay sad too long. I wouldn't say I'm overly happy all the time, but I just force myself to get over things and move on quickly. So an album with a bunch of sad songs on it, that wouldn't be for me.
There you go. Eventually I'll start feeling creative and actually writing interesting things in interesting ways in response to these questions, but right now I'm just not feeling it.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Day Three: Name a Totally Useless Possession and How You Came to Acquire It
I don't really think there is anything I own that's truly useless. However, there is one thing I own which happens to be incredibly useful to some people, and absolutely irrelevant to my existence.
Introducing, the blow dryer.
This piece of hardware is used by ladies and gentlemen all over the world to style their hair, or just to dry their hair before they style it. I never use mine. You may wonder why? Well, my hair has two basic styles, curly and straight. When I wear my hair curly, I wash it, put some gel in it, shake my head around a little bit, and just let it dry. When it's straight I always just let it air dry. It's actually really bad for your hair to blow dry it. People think straightening it does all this damage, and it does, but blow drying it really really hurts it. I don't want dead, dry hair. Does that make me shallow? Nah. I think it makes me happy.
Introducing, the blow dryer.
This piece of hardware is used by ladies and gentlemen all over the world to style their hair, or just to dry their hair before they style it. I never use mine. You may wonder why? Well, my hair has two basic styles, curly and straight. When I wear my hair curly, I wash it, put some gel in it, shake my head around a little bit, and just let it dry. When it's straight I always just let it air dry. It's actually really bad for your hair to blow dry it. People think straightening it does all this damage, and it does, but blow drying it really really hurts it. I don't want dead, dry hair. Does that make me shallow? Nah. I think it makes me happy.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day Two: Name Five Websites You Visit Most Often and Why
Gah. Two hours before my deadline and I don't really feel like writing. So here we go.
1. Facebook.
Why do I visit facebook? Why does anyone? Who cares? We all do it.
2. Gmail.
Email is like my facebook for the serious things in life. Here I communicate with professors about my classes, people in my classes about the crap I miss in classes, my managers from work etc. Also, I have the pleasure of receiving chain emails, mostly from my dad, most of which I don't really get the point of. In conclusion, I get tons of spam mail from secondlife, which I made the mistake of trying out for one day, and giving my real email address to.
3. StumbleUpon
Not really a site, but it takes me to a bunch of sites and it's super cool. I could stumble for hours.
4. Blackboard
Only when I have to.
5.Blogger.com
Obviously I have to write in this stupid thing every day. I'm tired. And regretting my decision to do this. Tomorrow will be a better day. Don't give up on me.
1. Facebook.
Why do I visit facebook? Why does anyone? Who cares? We all do it.
2. Gmail.
Email is like my facebook for the serious things in life. Here I communicate with professors about my classes, people in my classes about the crap I miss in classes, my managers from work etc. Also, I have the pleasure of receiving chain emails, mostly from my dad, most of which I don't really get the point of. In conclusion, I get tons of spam mail from secondlife, which I made the mistake of trying out for one day, and giving my real email address to.
3. StumbleUpon
Not really a site, but it takes me to a bunch of sites and it's super cool. I could stumble for hours.
4. Blackboard
Only when I have to.
5.Blogger.com
Obviously I have to write in this stupid thing every day. I'm tired. And regretting my decision to do this. Tomorrow will be a better day. Don't give up on me.
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